That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
