I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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