His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Randomize
