I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
