great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
