i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
