you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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