I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
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Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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