went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
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The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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