You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
