For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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