As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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