god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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