Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
