my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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