I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
you never un-have a 4some
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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