Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
