meet me or not, i'm out of control
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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