New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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