STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
