I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
