i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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