burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I did not marry a roomba.
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