this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
