he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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