i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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