i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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