definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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