he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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