He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
