he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
