you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
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the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.