They should really pass out barf bags in church
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.