Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
