I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.