Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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