so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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