I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We are two peas in an std pod
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
