escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
