Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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