Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You are the jesus of drinking
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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