Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
