You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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