dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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