Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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