why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
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In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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