Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
