I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
