i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
