Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
