Me. At least after what I've been through.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
