hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
