So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
