She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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