Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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