I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
