i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Quick, to the slutcave!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
