I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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