I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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