Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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